I almost abandoned this blog and started a Tumblr. But then I hated that. And then I almost started a Pintrest, but hated that too. Then I checked out Wordpress, but I'm too lazy to import all this shit. It's like years of my life recorded. So I decided even though Typepad is hopelessly outdated and too expensive, I'll stick around. I have this weird fantasy there is some reader out there that actually likes it. Although the vast majority of my hits come from my "Old Man Butt Gallery" I posted years ago from Bay to Breakers. Seriously, that gets hits every single day. It's amazing! Anyway, now back to my Japan trip!
This ad gave my friends and I many jokes. It looks like they're having fun, but is that girl like stuck in a chandelier? On a dance floor? Is she in danger? Is that a "Moet Moment?" For some reason the rest of the trip we kept talking about having "Moet Moments"
This was me for the entire trip.
The famous hotdog pouring coke on his head! Usually it's a statue and he's squeezing mustard, but it's coke here. I love this guy!
My friend took us to Nakano Broadway. Which looks like a normal mall, but houses a secret section full of crazy American and Japanese memorabilia!
It's fool of cool shit from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. Like an amazing flea market within a normal looking mall! This looks fun!
The game of Life! The Black & Bitter version. Sounds harsh!
Need a crazy metal Popeye? Here ya go!
Collect Jolly Green Giants? Come to Japan!
Giant Ronald McDonald doll? You know where to go!
This is kind of too cool to ever wear. Although late night in a club, you gettin' laid if you have this one.
Man, I miss these guys. McDonalds really lost their shit these days. What kid on earth wouldn't want a FrankenMcNugget with their meal!
30 bucks! For a Sorry Charlie alarm clock! Seriously, how did this get to Japan, and who there wants to buy it? It's a total mystery to me.
I do not recall the "Super Gooper." May have been before my time.
These pictures don't even begin to capture the entire weirdness of the place. You really should go there if you get a chance, it's a mind melter!
This store had the tiniest entry. I'm assuming that's to keep Gaijin out. It did not work!
Later in Shibuya. This is the most crowded intersection in the world! It feels like you're going through a concert crowd just crossing the street. Very surreal.
Japanese bathrooms are a goddamn mystery. Every single one looks like it was built by a person from a different planet. There's no consistency whatsoever. Different kinds of toilets, sinks, layouts, stalls, mirrors, it's absolutely amazing to me. And they are often super compact. I kind of want to write a coffee table style book on all the crazy ones I saw. Don't know who'd read it, though. Oh, and some have water fountains on top, so you can put water in while you let water out! At the same time!
I'm kind of a Tokyo Tower nutter. I guess I fell in love with it last time I went to Japan, but I really fell head over heels for it this time, because we were to close. It's a beautiful structure. And monsters destroy it all the time!
Considering how many times I bonked my head, I think someone must have really hurt themselves here. Thus the padding.
There were lots of flower festivals everywhere. Musta been a thing at that time of the year. One thing I love about Japan is they're always having some kind of festival. They really know how to live in that regard.
I went to Japan! And took a bunch of pictures. And so, here they are!
For some reason, Anonymous looks way cooler in a Japanese newspaper in black and white.
This was a random skeleton outside a burger joint. I think he forgot to eat.
My friend's live right by Tokyo Tower. The view from their room is nuts! Beautifer!
There was a little crane for construction right by the tower. If you look at it the right way, it kind of looks like Tokyo Towers' dick.
Japan has a lot of posters telling you what or what not to do on trains. There is no playing football on trains.
Went to a museum. Museums are super fucking boring to me, but this one had some neat stuff.
Old ladies love this kind of shit.
This was an old tough guy politician that is so cool, they made a rice cracker out of him. That's a pretty big honor, very few politicians get that treatment.
This is the museum's mascot. It kind of looks like a penis to me. But a great many things kind of look like a penis to me.
Found this sexy statue in a back alley in a shopping area near the museum. That's one thing I love about Japan, the randomness. It really is a very random country.
An American beauty
Speaking of random, found this amazing Marvel drink vending machine. It's amazing because the art is pure old school magic! Before Marvel started rebranding all their heroes and taking all the color and fun out in favor of a more "realistic," or in my opinion, totally fucking boring style. Muted colors, lots of leather, no bellbottoms, yadda yadda.
One thing that intrigues me about Japan, is how it doesn't burst into flames all the time. There is crazy ass wiring like this everywhere. Water was dripping everywhere too.
This is just hanging out, right by a popular shopping district. Just some...uhhhh...parts or something
I'm taking some flappernese, so I can do a pretty good job at reading Katakana. That being said, we really could not figure this one out. The waitress finally explained, they used to write Katakana in the opposite direction for some reason. It says "Asahi Biru" (Asashi Beer). Ha!
Here's some super depressing shit. These are statues of babies that died. People knit little hats and clothes for them to keep them warm or something.
Some were more fashionable than others.
More of the randomness of Japan. Nothing says Halloween like Jack Daniels!
Went to the Meiji Temple. It was A-Meiji-ing! (made the same joke on facebook, sorry if you're read it before)
They had vegetable boats...or something
And a wedding! I yelled "Game over, bro!" super loud, but I'm not sure if he understood English.
It was a nice temple, I suppose. My problem with temples is, you've seen one, you've seen them all.
Trees outside had some crazy roots, tho
I took like a zillion pics, so I'll post more later!
Yo, here's the rest of the trip!
How hilarious is this kid?!
I don't know what the heck these guys are, but they looked pretty cool.
This may be the only time Professor X actually looks good in his ridiculous "banana chair."
Look at this guy! 300 bad guy with golden tennis shoes!
Gorilla Grodd!!! He had a cool voice modulator, too! Sounded scary futuristic gorilla-y!
There was some kind of Jurassic Park fog machine that made for a great photo op for my cospaly.
The dad of the century goes to this guy who dressed all his kids up as Chucky dolls!
Probably my best pic of the show. I like capturing cosplayers in realistic poses. In a way, it makes the character seem more real, because Cammy would sit at a cafe and drink coffee, or tea, she's English after all.
One nice thing about cosplayers is they're always game for wacky shots, like this one!
I don't know what kind of robot this guy was building, but I bet it's gonna be cool.
There's a lot of orange in this picture! Orange is the New Orange!
For some reason, this is funny to me.
As is this...
The later that night, I got drunk and flapped around one of my favorite places on earth--Time Square!
There's always some crazy shit going on there!
Super crazy ass art everywhere!
And then I randomly saw some kind of super latino parade!
Look at this shit! Looks like an Ultraman villain!
Hey, I went to New York Shitty's big comic book convention and took a bunch of pictures! Here they are!
I am a sucker for JEM costumes! Sorry JEM fans about the movie! I thought Hollywood was over that idiotic thing they had for making a movie that completely ignores the source material, but I guess not. Seems they never learn. Anyway, cool costume!
I'm also a sucker for Road Warrior cosplay! This tough girl not only looked cool, she knew all about the movie and the actress who played this character (she's the blue lady in Farscape!)
This is probably the best Guile I've ever seen. Perfect body and height. Great hair, too!
Can't really say anything make this funnier.
Pink Lady Planet of the Apes crossover! I've noticed this trend of people crossing cosplay with Planet of the Apes. I saw a Gandalf Planet of the Apes last year. I fully support this trend.
Captain Spider-Man! He said this was the first costume he ever sewed. Pretty amazing for a first outing! He also has pretty big nards, judging by the bulge.
Without a doubt, the best Colossus I've ever seen! Amazing make up job. Impressive!
This guy was a fucking crackup! Especially his "Street Fighter Champion" costume.
Apparently, he's a Robert Li the Chun Li master! Ya-ta!
Much like San Diego Businesses tries to get into the spirit of Comic-Con, some New York places are wising up, too. Both have the same level of mixed success.
I was walking around drunk and noticed this amazing Psychic Store display. I don't believe in psychic powers, but this window display made a pretty powerful case for it. This looks pretty psychic.
These Rocking Spider-Mans had a pretty neat take on a classic costume. I'll give them props. And a blurry photo.
I don't even like these characters, but I do appreciate good cosplay, and these costumes were airtight.
I also appreciate rare cosplay pics like Kraven! Who is a cool character, that is very underused in the current Marvel Universe. He also had one of the most fucked up endings to a Marvel character.
Bob Ross! He has a great body for it, too!
This wasn't a costume, but a local Mexican restaurant getting in the mood for Halloween. For some reason, the little cobwebbed wooden Mexican guy really looked wacky to me.
One of the things that's cool about Manhattan is, you can just walk around and see weird shit. I suppose that's why a zillion people want to live there.
This was an ad for something. I think women sometimes do these strange things. I can't really understand it as a man, but I find it fascinating.
Maybe it's because they're worried they'll end up looking like this some day?
And that's day one! I'll post the rest of the pics next week!
It's my favorite time of the year! When America collectively decides to look at the gross kind of stuff that I look at all year long. It really does make me happy to walk into a Walgreens and see cut off heads and super bloody skulls. This year I did not go to a Halloween Superstore, but instead took pics of cool Halloweenie stuff wherever I went.
Here's me at NYCC! My costume was "The King of Halloween"
My friends in New Jersey had a simple, but hilarious Halloween decoration for their house. Sometimes one very strong decoration is better than many!
Beautiful countryside graveyard. According to my friend's dad, "It's so popular, people are just dying to get in."
Pumpkin I drew for my friends. We named him "Grumpkin" on the count of he looked grumpy.
The next day I got to go to a Halloweened out Garden Center!
It was amazing and this is what my face looked like the whole time!
They had a zillion pumpkins, but you had to fight a giant spider to get them. Totally worth it!
They prosecute shoplifters to the full extent of the law!
They really did have a lot of pumpkins, it was kind of insane!
I don't think these are Halloween decorations, but huge snails are amazing on their own.
As are these mysterious "rocks with sexy zipper mouths." Not sure what the idea behind these are...
Moments before the last time we were seen.........before entering the Tunnel of Terror!
More like the tunnel of blurs! This guy did not scare me, but I thought he was cool.
Gigantic glowing spider!
That was the Tunnel of Terror! Somehow we survived!
Small body, big skull
A fantasy of mine. But they'd be alive. And laughing.
One of the coolest things that's happened to me this Halloween season is the discovery of "crazy Halloween specials" on Youtube. There's a zillion wacky old forgotten Halloween shows, like this amazing Munster's Revenge movie! Sorry for bad quality, it's youtube after all. Just google "halloween special" and huge playlists of weird old shows comes up. It's amazing!
The next exciting thing I did was go to a Halloween Zumba Dance Party! I thought it sounded just weird enough to be fun, and it was! Here's what I thought one would wear to a Halloween Zumba Party.
Beer at Zumba! Am I the crazy guy, or what?
Then I randomly met an old friend and went to Cliff's Variety, a neat hardware store with lots o' costumes! They always have an epic window display!
Gross melty faces!
And terrifying "sad clown!"
After that, we went big gay dancing at a gay dance club!
The next day, I went to haunted Alameda for some small town Hollarween funs! They had the best mask there! I don't think this is actually a clown mask. It was "eye ball falling out" mask or something. But it looks amazing! So gross!
So many neat details!
Look at this eyeball rock!
Shiny space alien god. I would worship this thing!
All in all, it's been an amazing Halloween so far...and it's not even Halloween yet!!!
I wrote a poem about a pumpkin that was in my apartment building. Here it is.
Smallface the Jack-o'-Lantern
I first met Smallface the other day on the stairs
Although he was barely born, he was filled with mold hairs
A big round body, with the tinest face
A cute little smile that lit up the whole place
He didn't seem to mind that he was getting soft
His little goofy grin kept his spirit aloft
On the stairs he sat with pride, but things got bad when he went outside
Out by the gate, he lasted only a night
By early morn, his body was a fright
Although he was squashed, broken and tattered
His little face still smiled, as if none that mattered
Goodbye Smallface, though you didn't last long
I'll remember your smile long after you're gone
Sorry, forgot to post this when it came out. Dicko's was a pet project of mine, but it has come to and end. It was fun, but a lot of work and no one on the internet seemed to care, so I let it die. I guess there are enough movie review shows on there and no one was clambering for an evil one with a penis puppet. Still, we did some fine work and I still maintain it was a very entertaining show.
Not sure the world agrees...anyway, here's the final ep!