Hey, we reviewed Godzilla on my show, Dicko's Evil Movie Reviews! I consider it our best work. Give it a watch! Wadzilla!
Hey, I went Roswell, New Mexico and had a fucking laser blast! I got hammered, then went to the wacky downtown alien tourist area. And the best spot there is the mind-blowing "Alien Zone." Here's what I saw!
Just walking around you'll see lots of cute aliens everywhere. Like this gal.
Not many people know, but Uncle Sam actually came from outer space.
This was a window display outside the Alien Zone. Shows you right off, someone put some work in this.
This alien is only here for the beer! (according to his shirt)
They definitely have a good sense of humor about all this alien stuff in Roswell.
He's got a little blanky! Like baby Jesus!
Even before you get to the part you have to pay for, there were lots of interesting displays. I think this alien has writer's block. I totally understand.
Other displays were a little more slapdash.
The back area had a 50's style diner complete with tacky waitresses whose better days were behind them.
And an foosball table! As I mentioned in my last post, I think aliens have nice butts. Look at the tight little package on this guy. Not bad!
He had a better butt, and was a better player than me. Well, not really. He sort of just stood there.
Another satisfied customer at the Alien Zone cafe.
This guy looks kind of mad, actually. Maybe he's jealous of that other alien's butt right behind him.
Not all the aliens looked mad. Some were ready to partay!
This is the "Illegal Alien." It was recurring joke throughout the all the alien stores in town.
And now into the pay part of the Alien Zone! It was like 4 dollars or something super cheap. Many of the displays had an "Analysis" theme. This was the Fitness Analysis.
Here is the Alcoholic Analysis. I had myself analyzed. They said it's terminal.
This is the "Lapse Analysis" I think my friend on the right is having some kind of Lapse.
I'm not gonna brag and say I've sucked an alien dick, but I have. And you probably haven't.
It seems like these aliens came to earth just to chill.
I mean look at this mutherfucker. That is some hardcore chilling!
But not all was so happy at the Alien Zone. Some of these guys were undergoing some fucked up experiments.
One thing that stood out about this place was the attention to detail. The guy who made it, who is a preacher and musician according to the ladies at the front counter, really got into this. It's not a fast money grab, he put a lot time and effort in this place. And it's the little touches that make the difference, little touches like this syringe.
Back to the relaxin' aliens.
This guy was a little odd. Kinda touching himself in a Michael Stipes R.E.M. kinda way.
Alien goin' poo poo! I don't care who you are, or where you're from, that's funny.
Unfortunately, this photo does not give a sense of scale. This was about 6 feet across. It was big!
Although many of the displays were well put together, but the creator wasn't above a little haunted house scare, too.
Not really a cool picture, but it gives you an idea of how big the place was. This was separating two of the main three areas.
This was the middle room!
These flat guys were sweet! Especially the homemade tinfoil mask on the right one!
Can't go wrong with a head in a bottle!
Can't go wrong with a penis head alien!
Can't go wrong with evil pickles! Or can you...
Understandably, aliens have a hard time piloting Earth vehicles.
Aliens! Aliens! Aliens! Are you getting sick of aliens? Me neither!
This place was awesome! Like seriously, one of the best places I've ever been in my entire fucking life!
Look at this!
I believe the joke here is, "E.T. phone home." I do like his cool "homey" style.
There were aliens in every nook and cranny!
This was a chalkboard so people could draw on it. I drew buff E.T.
Don't know what this is. I think it's leftovers.
Radioactive space cockroach!
I think the guy who made the place sort of ran out of ideas here.
This was fucking cool! It was in the very back. It's a huge alien city! It glows in the black light, but you can't see it because of cameras and stuff. I couldn't really capture how cool it was, unfortunately. You'll have to go there to experience it!
I think this guy's seen better days.
Come for the alien with his guts hanging out...stay for the fun maze!
I think this guy's from Star Gate. He also looks like he's shooting the biggest load ever.
But that wasn't the only hot alien action in town, there were plenty of alien gift shops!
With incredible alien artifacts...like this shirt!
And there's like five of these shops downtown.
There were non-aliens shops too, this this weird Christian and rock collecting shop. We went in and it was as weird as it sounds. Lots of amazing rocks, some dinosaur fossils, and a bunch of Jesus stuff.
The last shop we went to was also nanners. The Space Center!
That's my alien friend who had the lapse earlier.
I don't know what the heck this is. Kinda looks like weird Alien Hitler. Wearing a funky space suit.
The Roswell Spacewalk? Dare I enter? Dare I? I dare!
There were some really cool displays in here. Definitely worth the 2 dollars!
This tin foil hat was not for sale. I asked.
This batshit insane UFO Marilyn Monroe book was though!
As was this damn crazy Hitler UFO book!
The people who live there know they ain't got much, but this UFO stuff and they run with it. They even put alien eyes on their streetlights downtown! He is watching you!!!
Hay, I recently went to Nude Mexico and had a fucking blast. One of the highlights of my trip was going to Roswell, New Mexico. Made famous by aliens landing there and fucking shit up. Since that's the town's only draw, they really play it up and have a whole bunch of alien shit everywhere. Including the amazing, and kind of serious, UFO Museum.
Parking is free! And they have this neato mural on the side. I don't know what the "g" means, though. My friend thinks it's a secret alien message.
Here's the outside of the museum. I guess this is the cowboy who found all dem aliens.
Inside the place was packed with hard evidence of the alien crash landing.
Including this artist's rendition of what the actual crash may have looked like.
And what an actual space alien may look like.
Haha, I'm kinda being a dick. The UFO museum is a great mixture of serious UFO and Alien theories and news stories, and cheesy alien shit. I will say, I was suprised by the more serious side of the museum, I really thought it would be one big joke. But it is not, it is half of one big joke.
And they the biggest UFO book library in America. All the books in here are about UFOs!
They also have Lost in Space on VHS.
BUT the most amazing thing about the museum, is the insane UFO magazine and zine collection they have! This whole room is crazy UFO magazines and crazier UFO zines!
To be honest, I'd like to go back to Roswell and stay a whole day in here reading this crazy shit. The United Aerial Phenomena Agency! hahahaha!
I mean, if stuff like this dosn't prove aliens exist, what the heck will?
Maybe this will help? The best part is the caption "Drawn by the Messenger"
I love UFO people. They are the crazy of the craziest. As demonstrated by this nutter's secret codes. And this is from a real zine. Some dude made this, paid to have it printed, then sent it out to other UFO nuts.
Of course, is wasn't all crazy person zines, there were more reputable UFO Magazines there too.
With hardhitting reporting, such as...
Someday, I'll go back and do a whole blog just about the library and zine room. Someday!
I guess, technically, Luke and Leia would be aliens.
Useful Strangs Shapes Seen in the Sky chart.
Speaking of strange things...there's a huge alien display right in the middle of the museum!
And some of these aliens, have pretty nice butts!
And cool faces!
And weird feet!
But the real magic, is when they come alive!!!!
Even famous movie stars like the beautiful and buxom Adrienne Barbeau believe!
Display showing what the famous alien auptopsy probably looked like.
Useful chart for sizing up aliens.
Aha! Now I get it!
Pretty sure 90% of the people who saw this read it as "Incident at Vagina" like I did.
Cant refute this!
A cloud happened to look like the arm of the mural out back. Coincidence?
Martian mandible versus Human mandible. Why isn't this on CNN? Where's Anderson Cooper?
Some of the alien depictions were better than others...
The museum was pretty big, actually. Here's a shot to show it's size.
I don't think this is the real flying saucer.
I do think this is a real cool look, though. For a human, or an alien.
Meanwhile, in back of the UFO museum, we found some actual UFOs! Except they weren't flying.
And that's the UFO Museum! Next up, the mind-destroying Alien Zone and other alien sightings in Roswell!
I was ramblling around the Internets the other day and saw some crazy outfits from a fashion show. When I saw it I realized, I had seen something just like in an episode of Classic Doctor Who. I did some research and came to the conclusion that the crazy modern fashion shows look a lot like old Doctor Who aliens.
Check it out!
Modern day crazy fashion show
Classic Doctor Who
Crazy GaGa Fashion
Crazy Doctor Who fashion
Crazy butt fashion
Anyway, you get the idea! If you want to go into the world of fashion, you can wow people by stealing old Doctor Who alien designs!
As is my custom, I go to cons, buy a bunch of wacky comics and blog the best parts. NYCC was actually in October, but I'm just now blogging them now, because I'm super lazy. Anyway, here they are!
This is a classic! The comic book is garbage, but can't beat the cover! I think the Avengers on Saturday Night Live is actually better, because John Balushi meets the Silver Samurai!
Some ads are made for this blog! Haha, I think I may have actually blogged this before.
Batman's kind of a dick. But still, he did let them eat their Hostess Fruit Pies before socking them.
Big beautiful Ghost Rider spread! You can click on it make it larger and get a better look at the art.
A very rare panel from the Ghost Rider's perspective.
And then Jesus Christ shows up at the end to save him. Jesus doesn't show up in a lot of Marvel comics, so this is pretty miraculous. heh-heh
BEAUTIFUL HULK SPREAD! CLICK ON IT, AND ENJOY THAT ART!
I feel like this everyday.
Spidey used to make a lot of silly stuff out of his web fluid...
Speaking of silly stuff--a Shrunken Head Apple Carving Kit! I really want this! I guess you carve a weird face into an apple, and as it rots it looks like a gross shrunken head. Nice ad copy, too--"Look for Vincent Price's pretty face on the cover." :)
Back to the Spider-Man comic. Well, it's actually an Electric Company Spider-Man comic, so it's extra goofy, as this panel shows. The evil inventor's big plan is to shrink water and sell it back!
After Storm and Spidey team up and put and end to that mad schemer's plans, Spidey joins the races in his kickass Spidey Buggy! The page says "Don't Mock the Shocker," but his name is "The Shocker" (two in the pink, one in the stink). Plus his costume looks like he bought it from an arts and crafts store, and he's just a poor man's Electro...so, yeah, I think you can actually Mock the Shocker. Cool Shocker car, though.
Naturally, J. Jonah Jammeson is peeved that Spidey's winning the race.
This is Stargrave! A character I knew nothing about, but loved his badass disco style. Turns out, he's pretty cool, and really fucking strong!
He kicked Superman's butt! Blasted his ass into outer space, and in a most undignified way!
Then when Supes came back, he kicked his ass again! "I'm going to...EEYEAHH!" As my dear old grandpa used to say, "You're going to shit, and fall back in it." Also really good art in this volume. Which is weird, considering it's DC.
One of the coolest finds this year was The Superhero Merchandise Catalog! Which is a comic book that sells comic book merchandise! All hand-drawn, no photos of anything!
Look at Dave's Room! Pink Spider-Man sheets and curtains!
Some great Star Wars stuff. Well, I'm guessing it's great, kinda hard to tell with a drawing. I love early Star Wars merchandising when they didn't quite have everything worked out. Like for instance, Darth Vader wearing a hood. That R2D2 with wacky legs looks fun!
I've been to a zillion Comic Book Cons, but I rarely see this stuff. I guess every kid in the 70s, played with it, grew out of it, and then sold it for weed. The little kids look like Super Hobbits.
Haha, remember that time Superman ate a zillion hamburgers? No? I don't think anybody else does, either.
Not a lot of people know this, but at one time, The Thing dressed like a pimp.
Not a lot of people know this, but at one time, Superman punched people's dogs...
I'm continualy surprised by Superman's success, because 80% of his comics are completly fucking idiotic. Although, they do sometimes get weird or wacky, which is the stuff I like. Still, they're often unreadable.
That monster...holy nuts, I'd like to meet the guy who drew that monster!
Haha! Is it supposed to look scary?
I want to get this on a shirt. Is there anything on god's green earth goofier than old DC comics?
Maybe Crazy Crabs... If crabs really had eyes like that, I think we could solve a lot of the world's problems.
Which brings me to my final comic--the Happy Hulk comic! Kinda looks like Iron Man's rubbing his head against his leg and blushing.
Everybody loves the Hulk! He gets his own parade!
Now this is a super hero spread worthy of the HULK!!! Click it to make it bigger, and check out all those hottie super heroine butts! Haha, seriously, it's rare to see this many heroes in on spread. And it's cool how they wrote the credits on the car wheel.
Everybody's celebrating the HULK!! Even Thor and the Asgardians! I don't know who the mysterious peeper (floating eyeballs under the bridge) is though. Maybe a Crazy Crab?
Even the weirdly-kinda-fat Watcher comes by to give HULK a pat on the back...could this be real? Could everyone suddenly love HULK instead of hate HULK?
Of course it's not real! It's that dick, the Leader! So mean!
I was so happy for the HULK!
The biggest problem with Google Glass is, they look totally FUCKING STUPID.
That's because Google made the mistake of trying to make them look normal, which only makes them stand out more. When someone walks around with that stupid shit on their face, they might as well get the word "DOUCHEBAG" or "TWAT" tattooed on their forehead.
Now, if Google would have tried to make them look far out and futuristic, it might actually work. Fuck trying to blend in, let's show the world you've got some high-tech super-powered shit from the distant future going on. Own it.
And so, to help Google keep people from looking like walking feminine hygiene products, I've come up with a list of eye wear designs that would make the Google Glass actually look cool.
These will not get you kicked out of a bar, but they might get you laid. I mean imagine sitting around in public places flaunting your Google Glass, AND actually looking cool at the time. It's a pretty much a no brainer.
The LA FORGE
When it comes to futuristic eyewear, the 90s vision of the future can't be beat. Not only is this look handsome, it's lightweight, and an instant conversation starter. More importantly, you won't look like a giant douchebag with these one. Guaranteed.
50'S MARTIAN SPOTTING GLASSES
Or whatever these are. If you sat in a bar wearing this, instead of the super ugly current Google Glass design, you're pretty much headed for an all you can eat pussy buffet. Unlimited returns!
DBZ POWER SCOUTER
This is perfect, because the Google Glass only projects over one eye, leaving the other one free to stare out in space and look creepy. And this Scouter look is not only handsome, it gives you a great opening line-- "Girl, with those power levels I bet your Saiyan...saiyan yes to a drink."
This is a great look and let's other people know, you're not messing around. You're doing some serious Google Glass shit, and they better step the fuck back.
Another great look that'll get you noticed no matter where you go. The eye actually rotates around and has two other alternate eyes give everyone the illusion that you're watching and possibly recording them. If there's one thing people like, it's being recorded without their permission. Especially hot women.
Star Trek is without a doubt the greatest sci-fi show of all time, and the futuristic fashion from the original series is hard to beat. Take this space visor Mr. Spock's wearing here as an example. If Google Glass is supposed to be futuristic, why not make it look futuristic. It's only "logical."
At this point, most people would agree Google has become evil...the very thing they set out to avoid being. So if you're going to wear something from an evil company, you might as well look the part. Thus the Imperial Guard design.
The ELTON JOHNS
Pretty much any of Elton John's 70s-80s sunglasses would be perfect for Google Glass. Why wear some stupid-looking shit, when you can wear some SUPER STUPID-LOOKING shit. Like, so stupid it's cool!
No the "G" goes not stand for Google, it's based on the famous 80's cartoon, Battle of the Planets, or Gatchaman. This look is smart and will give you that "Ninja Science" look the kids are going crazy for these days. Also, the special bird beak transparent screen is aerodynamic, perfect for people who want to surf the Internet while riding a bike.
OLD ASIAN LADY FACE SHIELD
If you live near an Asian population, you will sometimes see old Asian ladies wearing these "hats." It's kind of like sunglasses, but for your face...faceglasses if you will. This is perfect for Google Glass, because no one can see you recording them, or watching porn. Whatever you want.
For the "funny guy" or girl. These won't actually look through clothes, but will still make people feel just as uncomfortable. And despite how silly they look, they still look better than the terrible glasses they're pimping now.
YOUR MOVE, GOOGLE.
Pretty hard to beat Prince giving M.J. a little chin music!
This is from a French Heavy Meatal magazine. I guess this is their idea of Heavy Metal.
Source: from my good friend, Wes "Angry" Black.
Here's his Tumblr! http://wesblack.tumblr.com/