I was ramblling around the Internets the other day and saw some crazy outfits from a fashion show. When I saw it I realized, I had seen something just like in an episode of Classic Doctor Who. I did some research and came to the conclusion that the crazy modern fashion shows look a lot like old Doctor Who aliens.
Check it out!
Modern day crazy fashion show
Classic Doctor Who
Crazy GaGa Fashion
Crazy Doctor Who fashion
Crazy butt fashion
Anyway, you get the idea! If you want to go into the world of fashion, you can wow people by stealing old Doctor Who alien designs!
As is my custom, I go to cons, buy a bunch of wacky comics and blog the best parts. NYCC was actually in October, but I'm just now blogging them now, because I'm super lazy. Anyway, here they are!
This is a classic! The comic book is garbage, but can't beat the cover! I think the Avengers on Saturday Night Live is actually better, because John Balushi meets the Silver Samurai!
Some ads are made for this blog! Haha, I think I may have actually blogged this before.
Batman's kind of a dick. But still, he did let them eat their Hostess Fruit Pies before socking them.
Big beautiful Ghost Rider spread! You can click on it make it larger and get a better look at the art.
A very rare panel from the Ghost Rider's perspective.
And then Jesus Christ shows up at the end to save him. Jesus doesn't show up in a lot of Marvel comics, so this is pretty miraculous. heh-heh
BEAUTIFUL HULK SPREAD! CLICK ON IT, AND ENJOY THAT ART!
I feel like this everyday.
Spidey used to make a lot of silly stuff out of his web fluid...
Speaking of silly stuff--a Shrunken Head Apple Carving Kit! I really want this! I guess you carve a weird face into an apple, and as it rots it looks like a gross shrunken head. Nice ad copy, too--"Look for Vincent Price's pretty face on the cover." :)
Back to the Spider-Man comic. Well, it's actually an Electric Company Spider-Man comic, so it's extra goofy, as this panel shows. The evil inventor's big plan is to shrink water and sell it back!
After Storm and Spidey team up and put and end to that mad schemer's plans, Spidey joins the races in his kickass Spidey Buggy! The page says "Don't Mock the Shocker," but his name is "The Shocker" (two in the pink, one in the stink). Plus his costume looks like he bought it from an arts and crafts store, and he's just a poor man's Electro...so, yeah, I think you can actually Mock the Shocker. Cool Shocker car, though.
Naturally, J. Jonah Jammeson is peeved that Spidey's winning the race.
This is Stargrave! A character I knew nothing about, but loved his badass disco style. Turns out, he's pretty cool, and really fucking strong!
He kicked Superman's butt! Blasted his ass into outer space, and in a most undignified way!
Then when Supes came back, he kicked his ass again! "I'm going to...EEYEAHH!" As my dear old grandpa used to say, "You're going to shit, and fall back in it." Also really good art in this volume. Which is weird, considering it's DC.
One of the coolest finds this year was The Superhero Merchandise Catalog! Which is a comic book that sells comic book merchandise! All hand-drawn, no photos of anything!
Look at Dave's Room! Pink Spider-Man sheets and curtains!
Some great Star Wars stuff. Well, I'm guessing it's great, kinda hard to tell with a drawing. I love early Star Wars merchandising when they didn't quite have everything worked out. Like for instance, Darth Vader wearing a hood. That R2D2 with wacky legs looks fun!
I've been to a zillion Comic Book Cons, but I rarely see this stuff. I guess every kid in the 70s, played with it, grew out of it, and then sold it for weed. The little kids look like Super Hobbits.
Haha, remember that time Superman ate a zillion hamburgers? No? I don't think anybody else does, either.
Not a lot of people know this, but at one time, The Thing dressed like a pimp.
Not a lot of people know this, but at one time, Superman punched people's dogs...
I'm continualy surprised by Superman's success, because 80% of his comics are completly fucking idiotic. Although, they do sometimes get weird or wacky, which is the stuff I like. Still, they're often unreadable.
That monster...holy nuts, I'd like to meet the guy who drew that monster!
Haha! Is it supposed to look scary?
I want to get this on a shirt. Is there anything on god's green earth goofier than old DC comics?
Maybe Crazy Crabs... If crabs really had eyes like that, I think we could solve a lot of the world's problems.
Which brings me to my final comic--the Happy Hulk comic! Kinda looks like Iron Man's rubbing his head against his leg and blushing.
Everybody loves the Hulk! He gets his own parade!
Now this is a super hero spread worthy of the HULK!!! Click it to make it bigger, and check out all those hottie super heroine butts! Haha, seriously, it's rare to see this many heroes in on spread. And it's cool how they wrote the credits on the car wheel.
Everybody's celebrating the HULK!! Even Thor and the Asgardians! I don't know who the mysterious peeper (floating eyeballs under the bridge) is though. Maybe a Crazy Crab?
Even the weirdly-kinda-fat Watcher comes by to give HULK a pat on the back...could this be real? Could everyone suddenly love HULK instead of hate HULK?
Of course it's not real! It's that dick, the Leader! So mean!
I was so happy for the HULK!
The biggest problem with Google Glass is, they look totally FUCKING STUPID.
That's because Google made the mistake of trying to make them look normal, which only makes them stand out more. When someone walks around with that stupid shit on their face, they might as well get the word "DOUCHEBAG" or "TWAT" tattooed on their forehead.
Now, if Google would have tried to make them look far out and futuristic, it might actually work. Fuck trying to blend in, let's show the world you've got some high-tech super-powered shit from the distant future going on. Own it.
And so, to help Google keep people from looking like walking feminine hygiene products, I've come up with a list of eye wear designs that would make the Google Glass actually look cool.
These will not get you kicked out of a bar, but they might get you laid. I mean imagine sitting around in public places flaunting your Google Glass, AND actually looking cool at the time. It's a pretty much a no brainer.
The LA FORGE
When it comes to futuristic eyewear, the 90s vision of the future can't be beat. Not only is this look handsome, it's lightweight, and an instant conversation starter. More importantly, you won't look like a giant douchebag with these one. Guaranteed.
50'S MARTIAN SPOTTING GLASSES
Or whatever these are. If you sat in a bar wearing this, instead of the super ugly current Google Glass design, you're pretty much headed for an all you can eat pussy buffet. Unlimited returns!
DBZ POWER SCOUTER
This is perfect, because the Google Glass only projects over one eye, leaving the other one free to stare out in space and look creepy. And this Scouter look is not only handsome, it gives you a great opening line-- "Girl, with those power levels I bet your Saiyan...saiyan yes to a drink."
This is a great look and let's other people know, you're not messing around. You're doing some serious Google Glass shit, and they better step the fuck back.
Another great look that'll get you noticed no matter where you go. The eye actually rotates around and has two other alternate eyes give everyone the illusion that you're watching and possibly recording them. If there's one thing people like, it's being recorded without their permission. Especially hot women.
Star Trek is without a doubt the greatest sci-fi show of all time, and the futuristic fashion from the original series is hard to beat. Take this space visor Mr. Spock's wearing here as an example. If Google Glass is supposed to be futuristic, why not make it look futuristic. It's only "logical."
At this point, most people would agree Google has become evil...the very thing they set out to avoid being. So if you're going to wear something from an evil company, you might as well look the part. Thus the Imperial Guard design.
The ELTON JOHNS
Pretty much any of Elton John's 70s-80s sunglasses would be perfect for Google Glass. Why wear some stupid-looking shit, when you can wear some SUPER STUPID-LOOKING shit. Like, so stupid it's cool!
No the "G" goes not stand for Google, it's based on the famous 80's cartoon, Battle of the Planets, or Gatchaman. This look is smart and will give you that "Ninja Science" look the kids are going crazy for these days. Also, the special bird beak transparent screen is aerodynamic, perfect for people who want to surf the Internet while riding a bike.
OLD ASIAN LADY FACE SHIELD
If you live near an Asian population, you will sometimes see old Asian ladies wearing these "hats." It's kind of like sunglasses, but for your face...faceglasses if you will. This is perfect for Google Glass, because no one can see you recording them, or watching porn. Whatever you want.
For the "funny guy" or girl. These won't actually look through clothes, but will still make people feel just as uncomfortable. And despite how silly they look, they still look better than the terrible glasses they're pimping now.
YOUR MOVE, GOOGLE.
Pretty hard to beat Prince giving M.J. a little chin music!
This is from a French Heavy Meatal magazine. I guess this is their idea of Heavy Metal.
Source: from my good friend, Wes "Angry" Black.
Here's his Tumblr! http://wesblack.tumblr.com/
I don't actually want you to shit on my phone. It's more like, "the shit on my phone." But not actually shit, but pictures of shit. But not actually pictures of shit, more like pictures of stuff.
Anyway! I do a piss poor job of managing my media, so I just went through a bunch of folders of phone pics and found stuff. There may be some repeats from older blogs.
Now, here's some shit!
The Thing in his never-ending battle against the "Yancy St. Gang" that live to bust his onions.
A rare episode of Voltron, where he finally tells King Zarkon to "suck it."
This is a sad story. I got super drunk and drew a picture on my friend's Harry Potter book. I had to buy her a new one. Very embarrassing. If it was a cool unicorn that would be something. But this is not a cool unicorn.
A neat photo I took where the reflection became part of the image.
Ever since I was a kid, I've always named my characters in video game filthy names for fun. It makes the game a lot more enjoyable.
Laurence Fishburn in one of his earlier roles as a crazed rapist in Deathwish 4.
I think I got this from one of my friend's facebook feed. Here's his brain melty tumblr- LUCIFER RISING.
Cool episode of the Transfromers where they ride a dragon around inside Megatron's body.
This probably came from my friend's facebook feed, as well.
I have lots of toys in my house. Sometimes I make them have sex.
Mark Hamill from the astonishing live-action Guyver movie.
Like I said, I have a lot of toys. I think I was going through a period where I was trying to make art with stuff in my apartment. I wasn't good at it.
More failed attempts at art.
Found this on the Internets. I like the symetry of it.
Episode of Transformers where they blow apart Optimus Prime and attach his arm to the top of a building for some reason.
One of my many useless hobbies is to make faces out of stuff. This is melted cheese on a hot dog. I has a rather sad haunted quality to it.
And here's a frowny face I made on the beach!
I was gonna wear this to a leather sex fair called Folsom Street Fair, but I thought it was too sexy. If you wear something sexy there, people are gonna try and sex you, and I wasn't in the mood for real sex.
Art I made on an Umami Burgers napkin. The server seemed pretty excited by it, but when I left he probably laughed and wiped his butt with it.
And this is my friend's baby posing with the penis puppet Fuckface! Fuckface is the cohost to my Internet show called Dicko's Evil Movie Reviews! I'm pretty sure they're going to be lifelong friends.
Speaking of random art. This isn't art, but just some crap on the wall in Times Square. For some reason, it caught my eye. And now that I've posted it here, it has officially become art.
Rockhard Man! (it actually wasn't that hard, it was more of "floppy" kind of dildo some people prefer)
Caped Cock! Which doesn't actually have a cape, unfortunately. You could probably fashion one out of a broken condom, but I'm not sure if it would look good.
The Incredible Hunk. This is probably the most realistic of all the Super Hero dildos, because that very well could be what the Hulk's dick looks like. But probably not floppy, I would imagine the Hulk would get super hard. Or...maybe that's why he's so mad? Something to think about while you're putting this in your butt.
The Amazing Web Shooter. Thankfully, cum is not as sticky as Spider Mans' web fluid. That would be a serious healh hazard.
Hey! Here's a human dildo! Haha, that's me. I work in the Twitter building, so I dressed up as a Twitter Employee for Halloween. The Twitterers didn't really think it was funny.
And this is my PS4! I got a PS4 and wanted to dress her up like she was my girlfriend, because I'm lonely and weird and don't have any girlfriends ever. Anyway, we had quite a party that night!
Found this on the Internets. I have a mild obsession with hotdogs, because they looks like human dicks and everybody eats them like it's not funny. But it really is.
My crazy sun glasses collection! I've been known to dress up like a weirdo from time to time. And over the years, I've managed to collect quite a few crazy sunglasses. I don't brag about much, but I will brag about this colleciton.
We had a cookie baking contest at work. I made "peed on snowmen." They tasted pretty good, actually.
This is from the opening credits of Grease. You may remember Grease as this funny musical, but if you watch it again, you'd be surprised at exactly how fucked up it is. It's a really weird movie, right from the animated opening credits where the Grease logo melts into this living pile of shit.
I dressed up like Delta Burke (or Delta Burp as I called myself) for my work Holiday Christmas party. I think every man should dress in drag once in a while, it's very liberating.
Here's what the real Delta Burp looks like for reference.
This is from the 80's slasher flick, New Year's Evil. It's the only movie I've ever seen where the killer uses a giant bag of weed to kill someone. In a non-funny way. He's like, "Want some weed?" And she's like, "Sure!" Then he's like, "Here, smell it, it's some primo Columbian." She leans over to smell it, he puts the bag over her head and suffocates her.
I never watched Gremlins 2 as a kid. I tried but it was really terrible. I recently watched it, and it blew my fucking mind. It's so unbelivably terrible, it's kind of in a class of its own. Apparently, the director was approached to do a sequel and said, "Fuck it. I'll do a sequel so bonkers, it'll kill the franchise." In not so many words. Anyway, I highly recommend taking shots of whiskey while you watch it, for maximum enjoyment.
This is the transexual Gremlin at the end of the movie. It's implied that she's going to marry one of the human characters. That's how the movie ends. I think that's a good ending.
Almost done! I found these penis wine bags at an X-Rated cake shop in SF. I'm not sure what the exact social occasion requires a penis wine bag, but it's good to know they exist. Maybe a Super Hung Heroes Dildo Party would be a good time for one.
Every year, I have a Blaxploitation Film Fest on the weekend of Martin Luther King's Day. I randomly put on Truck Turner from Netflix, and it was one of best Blaxploitation flicks I have ever seen. Super funny, super violent, super bonkers. I can't recommend it enough, if you're a fan of the genre.
And Nichle Nicols from Star Trek is in it! As a super tough talking hooker!
This is from a crazy Japanese movie called Horrors of the Malformend Men. It was so messed up, it was banned before it even came out in Japan! It's a love story.
This is not from Horrors of the Malformed Men, but it could very well be. It's actually from the children's cartoon, Digimon. Digimon is like a really fucked up Pokemon. But it's way better.
This is from the Internets. I've had an obsession with The Little Mermaid since high school.
I bought Beavis and Butthead dolls last year. I have a shit-ton of weirdo toys, but these guys have become my favorites somehow. I'll admit, we were all really drunk when this happened.
And this is from Reddit. Someone googled "Ghetto Unicorn" and this came up. Makes sense.
And after the Super Bowl, I was drunkle and went home and took a bunch of pictures of Charles Mansion, because he was on TV. And there ya go! That is what was on my phone!!!!
At this moment, I have no pictures on my phone.