Boo! Why can't witches get pregnant? Cuz goblins have hollow-weenies! Yeah, that's fucking retarded. Anyway, every year I get crunk and go to the Halloween Stoopid Store and blarg about it. But first, I must dance
Now I am, and have been a long time fan of demonic babies. And this year, like last, they seem to be the craze! And this one's a cutey! Need a hand?
Mom, Dad, I know you guys read this blog, and um...I'd like to introduce you to the girl I'm dating.
Meanwhile, my buddy Smellzway is terrified by this super cute evil demonic adorable spider!
I know there are many cat lovers who read this blarg. Let this amuse you!
And this! Rrrreeeeewwrrrrr!!!! Err..whatever noise scary cats make!
My roomie Ravishing Reg Rude has a hot bod.
Ravishing Rude Reg's cousing, A-Damn-it who lives in New Mexico and is of Spanish descent, but is not a Mexican, finds this costume just hilarious.
Gosh, I wish we had costumes like this when I was a kid! Parent's would have been outraged! Now they don't give a shit at all! Yay!
The Three Splooges!
I dunno why this cracks me up, but it do!
A scary bird feeder! Who the fuck is this for? Old ladies who love scaring the shit out of finches? Explain!
Yet another pic for cat lovers. It's a pretty fucking cool bag. I shoulda bought it.
Separated at birth?
I love the subtle racism of Halloween Super Stores! "Character Mustache!" LOL!
And now for a spoooooooooooooooky movie! This is for you, John Carpenter!
Whelp, I bought some eyeballs, we bought some beer...and here ya go! Eyebeer!
At this point, I am so fucked up it's scary!
Somehow I made it to the next store and decided to sit down and take some time out.
Mom, Dad, I know you read this blog, and uh...this is my new girlfriend.
Old School Rapper. Not M.C. Hammer.
This is classy! King of Pop! I love the super floppy glove. I love that is Michael in the super cray-balls stage of his life. And I love the weirdo pic below where his face is totally blacked out. Genius!
What I love about this--EVERYTHING!
Almost done, BTW!!!
I think I was trying to get this animatronic machine to jack me off. It did not work. Very well.
I have many names for my ass. Fuming Rotter is just one.
Anyway, a few days later, at a differn't Halloween Stoopid Store display, I found this epic "rats with their heads cut off" display!
And at the same store! Insane monkey riding dog with disguise glasses!
And for cat lovers, I know there's a few who read my blog...
Then I went to one more Halloween store! The world famous Walgreen's Halloween section! That's where I found the 18 inch hanging creature. I have an 18 inch hanging creature. And it is a "hot buy!"
Cheap plastic pumpkins! And lots of them!
And that rabies and gentlemenaces is the 2011 Halloween Stoopid Store blarg! I leave you with this movie of Freddy Kruger giving head (I bought this a Walgreens).