BOO! Welcome to the annual Halloweenie Stupid Store Blarg! But before we start, many of you prolly have no idea what I look like when I'm actually blarging. Well, Imma bout to change that. Here's a pic of me updating Brownthatbanana!
Before we made it to the store, we found these very spooky condoms at Tommy's Original Joint. I'm on board for most, but the "Fingers of Passion" confuses me. Do those fingers move? Are they stiff? Or do they just flop around and look like a gross E.T. hand?
Onto the store! A very sexy General Grevious mask. I'd like to put this on and stare at women while they bathe.
And as the sluttiness of Halloween marches on, it was just a matter of time before we started mixing kids shows with hoebags--Sponge Slut Square Panties!
And for the subtle... (I think it's a vagina eating reference, but I'm not completely sure)
Now to more wholesome things, like demonic babies! I didn't notice it being such a popular thing, but this year it's really taken off!
Which I don't mind, cuz I always find toddlers to look a little evil. Espcially when they eat hands.
Two demon baby heads is better than one!
There's so many cute ones!
Look at the little scamp!
If this doesn't touch your heart...
I want to adopt them all! Evil baby orphanage!
And all the while, there's this recording playing over and over--"Mommy, look what I can do! Mommy! Mommy! AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHGGGHGHGHHGHHHHH!!!!" lol
Narutally, five feet away from this dislpay, they had a wall of terminally ill children you could support by buying a 1 dollar bracelett. Which I did. Classy!
Now onto the mask section! This is Marvus Fenix (the absurd tough ass is from Gears of War) getting an important finger call.
Beyond Halloween sales, I've always suspected the secondary market for these stores are seriel killer outfits. Like this "rape mask."
Hee-hee. I'm shy.
So many scary things at the Halloween Stupor Store! Like bags of cut off fingers!
Or the even spookier, bags of bright colored paper clips!
Or evil erasor toppers! Scarrrryyyyy!!!!
Michael Jackson was out if full force! Most looked nothing like him, but this guy almost looks like he had plastic surgery!
This is me after four beers and a burrito.
And some costumes were designed for this blarg!
I'm a big fan of racists costumes. Mainly for their subtley. "Mexican Man." Where's "Black Man" or for that matter a "White Man" not-whites can wear?
This was a genius costume (sorry so blurry--alcoholic shakey hands!)
The best part was, they actually had a penis that gave the outfit its "illusion of boner" look. They could have used anything that sticks out, but they went the extra step and made a dick! Good for them!
We had to wait forever to get our picture taken in this thing!
Never to early to encourage your kids to dress up like child molesters!
Michael and La Toya together!
This was a straight epic Jason Vorhes poster!
And some giant bags of weed!
I can see slutty princess, or slutty catgirl, even belly dancer, but there really isn't any other reason to wear a "little black dress" unless you're out for cock.
Combine it with this, and the little freak can make some lunch money!
At this point, I was so hammered, I felt like this...
This was a rad picture, quite by accident.
This mask has "seriel killer" written all over it!
And that's the Halloween Stupid Store!(if you've never been in one, they look like this!)
And then when I got home in my drunken stupor, I had bought some "Big Red Lips." I have no idea why. Probably, because they're called - Big Red Lips.
But the coolest thing I bought was a Skeleton Head Beer Funnel! LOL- worth every fucking cent
And since you've made it this far, here's a sneak peek at my Halloween costume--Lady KaKa!
And now a very special word from our sponser--Freddy Kreuger!