Welcome to the yearly Halloween Stoopid Store blog! I started doing this a few years back and it's become a tradition. The premise is simple - get shit faced, run in the store and tear it up!
This year was a little more mellow, but still fun! Here we go!
Found little cutie at Thai restaurant by the store... Drunkenstien!
Before we hit the store we played with my buddy's Osamba's toy - Scroaty!
If you blow on sctoaty's mouth penis hose, he get all swollen up!
And you can plug up his mouth penis hose and turn in into a little fuck mouth!
And if you use your imagination, his back looks like a granny va-janny!
Sorry, I have a little scroaty obsession... BTW he comes from Wallgreens!
Anyway, enough of that, this is supposed to be a Halloween Stoopid Store Blarg so here we go! Yesshhh! Finally made it into the store!
This is how I feel when I go into a Halloween store!
While we're looking at nasty babies (one of my favorite things), here's a stoned reggae monster baby!
Then we found an army helmet! This is standard pimp issue.
I'm part Native American, too!
I have no idea what this costumes supposed to be. Dead naked shy guy? Too high concept for me!
I love Asian fashions!
Yes, you little bitch. Put your slutty little ass in the air!
A Mexican Super Douche costume!
And for those special parents who want their kids to get the shit kicked out of them by other kids or have drunk adults pee on them is this amazing costume!
Hello future sexual psychopath!
Or you could send them in out in the molestors favorite, Naked Body Suit!
If I had a child, I would make them wear this every day of the week. Not kidding.
This is a great sign! Simple and to the point!
This stuff costs an arm and a leg!
This is some good old fashioned costume mash up! Comically over-sized trucker's combined with super scary monster face - comedy gold!
Then I found this mask... and I fell in love. You know when you find that costume and you're like, "Yeah... this, this is me. This is really me."
We were sure tired after all that Halloween shopping. So it was off to a resturant to get some grub... Hrmm... what should I order... what should I order...?
Sometimes you need a little help from your friends to decide stuff.
He got too excited watching girls! Happens to me too...
It was time to go and time to settle up the bill...
Yesshhhhh! Take my money... hrmph hrmmph hrmmph!
And the next day, before heading off to a Halloween party, we stopped by my favorite bar John Murious Trophy Room! Immeditatly after walking in the bartender handed me this magazine and said, read it.
Turns out it was a porno magazine featuring 50+ models! Does that bartender know me or what?
This was an amazing ad calling out for 50+ models. But you still have to send in your I.D. so they can make sure you're over 18 years old! LOL!
Have you called Grandma today? Great tagline! I wish I could write like that!
And then we were off to a party! I wore my award winning creepy peeper costume and totally freaked the fuck out every chick at the party! I didn't think it was that bad! Sheesh!
And now it's time for the sad part of the blog. There was a cute little dog at the party in a bucket. It looked like this...
But then at the end of the party, it died! Another dog like bit it's head off and it looked like this! It was super sad! I really liked that little guy! If you have a little dog... you have to watch it! Seriously.
Anyways, here's a recent pic from the super store two days before Halloween. The place was totally destroyed! It looks like a mangled costume abortion!
And now, I'll leave you with this picture of a costumed baby who, like most of us, is wondering what the fuck is going on.
Yep, this year was a little less crazy than previous years, but still fun none-the-less. If you have spare time and any brain cells left, here are the last two years! Enjoy!
And Here's 2007!