One my many pointless hobbies is drawing terrible cartoons on the Netflix envelopes, before sending them back. I'm a really crappy artist. Here are my recent ones.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Neat movie! I really liked it a lot. And holy shitballs, the battle with the giant squid blew my mind. I watched it like 5 times in a row. Astonishing effects for the time. A well-made movie in every respect.
Batman & Robin
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this movie! I didn't see it when it came out, so didn't suffer the psychic shock of it's original terribleness. I just watched it for the first time last year, and it blew my fucking brain apart. It's like a Power Ranger's episode on crack! What a flick! One of Arnie's last great roles, and certainly his punniest! Pretty sure he made every fucking snow, ice, cold-based pun in the big book of puns. Good stuff! Oh, and I happened to rent it right around Christmas, so it worked perfect for the art.
This is one of those movies you hear about all your life, because it's so shocking and outrageous. And lemme tell, it lives up to its reputation in every way. It's fucking disgusting. Rape, gang rape, slaughter, graphic violence on a level rarely seen. A weenie gets cut off and blood squirts out!!! The human parts aren't real, but a few animals bite it for real in the film. Let's just put it this way—it's so fucked up, when it came out the director got arrested! And had to prove he really didn't kill people! Ha!
Village of the Damned
This is a great classic British bit of Sci-Fi horror. I love British Sci-Fi. Quartermass and the Pit, Dr. Who, they made some really neat stuff back in the day. And this is one of those films that does a lot with a little. Very few special effects, most psychological terror and good costumes. The kids really do look freaky. I recommend it, and the sequel. (I wrote Children of the Damned on the drawring for some reason, even though that is the sequel.)
Hell Comes To Frogtown
With a name like that, it's gotta be good! Right? No. If you watch enough shitty movies, often the movies with the most outrageous names are the worst. Mainly, because they try to hard to make it funny, and over do it. Hell Comes to Frogtown comes close to doing that at times, but ultimately rises above it and winds up beeing a really funny movie. And it has great frog costumes! About as realistic as a frog person could ever look! And Hot Rod Roddy Piper gives his usual 1,000% commitment to his role. As silly as it it, it all works pretty well, and has a super-bonkers ending. My drawring of Roddy Roddy Piper looks more like the Ultimate Warrior, but I'm a crummy artist, so that's not surprising.
Boy, what a stinker! The fact that it's related to the Alien universe just makes it all the more insulting. I mean wasn't it more fun to imagine what the "space jockey" was like, instead of meeting him and being disappointed? It's a nice-looking movie, but is riddled with plot holes and inconsistencies. And has a SUPER DUMB ending. Sad movie.
This is a freaky black & white flick by the dirty-bird butt-raper, Roman Polanski. It's a cool film about a woman who is losing her shit, big time. As the movie profresses, she gets crazier and crazier and by the end is pretty much gone. If you've ever wanted to get in the mind of someone cracking up, this is your film. I enjoyed it very much.
Trilogy of Terror
Three tales of terror starring the one-and-only Karen Black. She really was in a class of her own, as I can't think of another actress like her. She had an amazing face, an incredible presence, and could really act. She plays all the main characters in each story, and two different characters in one. This was a made for TV movie, but you'd never know by how violent and freaky it is. Probably wouldn't fly by today's standards. All three stories are good, but the murderous African doll that comes to life is the one everyone remembers. DVD comes with commentary, which I recommend listening to. It'll tell you a lot about Karen Black's life, and outlook on her career.
The Thing (original)
The original Thing is really fun, because everybody pulls their pants up to their necks, and speaks insanely fast. It has that awesome 1940's maching gun style delivery that I love. The monster is also cool. Kinda looks like the guy from Prometheus, actually. And there's this amazing scientist who's hell bent on "reasoning" with the monster, and not killing it. You can probably guess how that ends. Oddly enough, the snow design on the Netflix envelope works here too, as the who movie takes place in the Arctic.
And that's all I gots for now!