Remember when Spider-Man was a Hollywood douchebag? The Watcher does!
One of my favorite things about the Watcher, and I've said this before, there was zero consistency on how they drew him. Sometimes he's fat, sometimes buff, taller, shorter, wider, and his face changes all the time. This one is particularly hilarious looking.
In this What If, the new Spidey stops the robber and saves Uncle Ben! But! He does it to get famous!
Then he goes to Hollywood with his new powers and gets a movie deal!
BOOM! Talk show host! And deodorant seller!
Now he's famous!!! Note: the movie stars Marlon Brando and Gene Hackmen, the stars of the Superman movie. Nice easter egg for astute readers.
Not satisfied just being an actor, he wants to be an agent for other hero groups! I like how Iceman looks totally appalled.
Everybody knows agents are just legal pimps. And Spidey pimps out Daredevil in no time at all!
But the pressure starts to get to him when J. Jonah Jameson writes a damning editorial!
Luckily, cocaine and a good plan can calm any Hollywood agent down. Btw, I fucking love how they draw his face.
He frames J.J. and gets him fired! If you read the print, there are all kinds of crimes listed including "turning tennis balls into MacRonald hamburgers!"
As time goes on, Daredevil gets concerned about Spidey's life. But Spidey is too stupid to realize how many enemies he's made.
Then he gets ambushed by five out of the Sinister Six! (Where's Kraven?!).
They start kicking Daredevil's ass!
So he finally figures out, hey, maybe I shouldn't be a Hollywood douchebag and be a Spider-Man instead!
And you'll never guess who wanted him dead? Duh! J. Jonah Jameson!
And then there's an epic ad for Crazy starring one of my all-time favorite villains, Batroc Zee Leaper!
And that's it! This is one of the best What Ifs I've ever read. And I've read a lot! Hope you enjoyed it and learned a lesson about how fucking funny Crazy magazine is!