Yeah, I know that was nearly half a year ago, but for some damn reason or another I never did get around to blarging them. And so, here are the "best bits" of all the shit I bought there!
According to the guy who sold this to me, it's the second appearance of the Watcher. Look how fat and crazy he looks! He looks better inside, BTW. I've kind of become obsessed with how people draw him over the years. It's really inconsistent. Sometimes he's super fat, sometimes he's really tall, others he's mega ripped. It changes all the time. as does the shape of his head.
This is probably the best thing I bought there. The Havoc of the Headmen! They may be the worst ever concept for a super villain group ever, and as a guy who collects shitty comics that's saying a lot. Even the name barely makes sense. One guy's a genius with a deformed head, one guy has an ape body and a human head, one guy is a psychic and one guy is a girl! With a crazy morphing red orb for a head!
First page is pretty damn nutty! Why is that deer so mad?
Epic ad for the Spider-Man rock album which I bought for a dollar and blogged about way back. You can listen to several of the mind boggling songs right here. Some great Stan Lee writing in the word balloon too! BTW - I got it for a dollar and it costs 7 bucks here!
Back to the story, Ruby Thursday has a boner for Nighthawk!
Ruby Thursday explaining why she's hotter than all the other girls.
Last time I blogged I blogged about a Flash comic with the ridiculous Chunk! Then I randomly found the comic before that one. What a dumb villain! 80's Flash was awful. Look at the Flashes horribly drawn body!
Ultra, the Multi-Alien! I love this guy! He has a bird leg and a lightning leg!
Lookout for the Jovian Water Blaster!
Very clever Tootsie Pop ad. If you follow the directions, you will see it in the middle of the pop.
Pretty real Sgt. Rock ad! It's Black--say it!
Good old Stan Lee, he loved to put himself in his comics!
But Jack Kirby made it in there, too! And he did the art, so it's amazing.
Not the best What If, but had some outstanding pages. Look at his neck! And look at that beautiful Kirby machinery!
Spider-man versus the Fly! I wonder who will win?
Crappy comic, but an amazing angry J. Jonah Jameson splash page!
I thought it was The Watcher, but it is Alpha the Ultimate Mutant. He's not really that ultimate if I've never even heard of him. Plus he just kinda looks like a bald guy with a weird head. Oh, and look at the Blobs crazy body!
Not the best art, but this page was cool. And the other weird guy with a bald head shows up!
Had a super wacky ending. Mutant babies!
ROM and his crazy toaster gun!
I can't remember if I've blogged this before or not. I feel like I have, but I couldn't find any proof. Anyway, super nutty cover! Batman crazing a race car off a cliff onto Wonder Woman! The perspective is hilarious!
I think he's right. I couldn't beat up Megatron, that's for shore!
Looks a heckuva lot like 7 of 9. I wonder if Star Trek cribbed it.
I also feel like I may have blogged this before. But I don't know, because I drink a lot and all my comics are in different piles everywhere. Anyway, some good art none-the-less.
If you want people to enter your contest, this is how you do it! I'm thinking about entering this, even though it ended years ago!
I would kill for a Hate Monger Christmas ornament! I friggin' love that guy!
Beautiful splash page. Very artistic. Joseph Pedguerey is a good artist.
Another Christmas comic I randomly bought! Santa Clauses in shorts with machine guns!
This was from a Spider-Man Human Torch comic. Amazing spread! Note the Woody Allen poster on the wall! And most of America was not hip to espresso until many years after this. Fancy New Yorkers!
Not much is worse than old DC! Bad art, cramped lay outs, stiff art and dumb. But once in awhile it's worth it just for the crazy factor.
Like the Separated Man whose gross body parts fly around and attack people!
I'm a big fan of flying eyeballs. Especially the ones that cry fire.
I love everything about this panel.
And this is it! The one panel referenced on the cover actually happens! Fuck you, early DC and Marvel! Why you trick little kids into thinking what happens on the cover will happen inside?!
P.S. Watch out for the Headmen! Don't give Headmen a hard time! And don't get Headmen mad!
I'm getting booted out of my place so I've been way to busy to blog. But I did find some weirdo Japanese art on the internets with naked ladies. I couldn't find out who made it, but I thought I'd share it anyway.
Looks like a pretty good workout.
Wish I knew who drew these, they're amazing! If you know, leave the info in the comments!
Finally a test that determines which you like more: Negroes or Spiders. Or Jews. Or Cabbage. Haha, found this in a kooky Tales of the Unexpected comic I bought. I think the test is secretly a way to find out who is a Commie under the guise of finding out what your "Brotherhood Quotient" is.
The main story was about a guy coming home and monsters have taken over his town! What better allegory for Communism is there?! My guess is they had G Men at the comic store watching to see who bought this comic. Then they'd follow them home and watch how they filled out the quiz. If they answered "wrong" a.k.a. they liked Jews, Negroes and Long-hair music, they reported them to the secret commie list. That's my guess, anyway.
Pretty crappy comic inside, but did have a couple of wacky panels.
Take the test and find out your BQ!
I was drunkenly stumbling around when I saw this amazing face in the window. It was in one those stores that cater to women's insecurities, known as a "Beauty Spa."
While I'm obviously not in need of any help in the beauty department, that didn't stop the nice-looking Filipina from trying to sell me a treatment with this device that looks like some kind of futuristic death mask.
It did have a neat brochure though!
Can this make me into an evil ninja?
I gotta hand it to the lady trying to sell me a treatment, she was not easily discouraged. I told I was drunk and just being an idiot and it didn't even phase her. She even turned it on to show me how it works! Is this the future of beauty treatments?! I can only hope!
Leonard Nimoy was my hero! I don't have a lot of heroes, because everybody pretty much sucks or is super boring to me. And very few actors are as cool as the characters they played. Nimoy was as cool as Spock. And a lot like him. Smart, classy, interesting and just an all around neat guy. I recommend reading the book I am Spock, if you get the chance. It'll give you a great look into the show and how he came to like the character over time, instead of resenting him.
Anyway, I just thought I'd ramble about a few of my favorite Spock performances.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Spock's great in this movie for a few reasons. At first, he's given up on mankind and has fully embraced logic. BUT he senses this is not his path and returns to the Enterprise to help them stop a tremendously powerful alien. When he arrives, he's a super dick to everyone, but after having his mind totally fucking blown by mind-melding with a galactic consciousness he realizes his place is actually on the Enterprise. With his friend, Captain Kirk. From that movie on, he knows he belongs with the crew as one of them. It's a wonderful coming home story. And for real Spock fans, seeing him hold Kirk's hand has a powerful emotional impact.
Star Trek Original Series: Journey to Babel
This is a great episode because we get to meet Spock's parents! And naturally, he has beef with his dad. They're both stubborn, super intelligent, and misfits. Spock is half-human and has left Vulcan to join Star Fleet, something no other vulcan has done. Spock's dad married a human! An emotional "inferior" race! Throughout the episode, we get to find out about Spock's youth and the pain he went though growing up as an outsider. Plus, his mom's cool! And she walks around with Sarek by holding two fingers together instead of holding hands. It's a really nice touch. Wonderful episode, all around. Note of interest: Mark Lenard also played the Romulan commander in Balance of Terror.
Star Trek the Animated Series: Yesteryear
Lemme just start by saying, if you consider yourself a Star Trek fan, but have not watched the Animated Series, you're a fool. And not a fan at all. All the characters are voiced by the actors from the show and many of these episodes are on par with the episodes from the original series. And the ones that are terrible, are usually totally bonkers and hilarious. Yesteryear is a time travel episode that uses the Guardian of Forever time portal from the series to send Spock back to when he was a kid. What's neat about the this episode in Journey to Babel they mention the Spock had a pet when he was a kid that was a "teddy bear with six inch fangs." And then you see him in the animated series! That's good continuity! You also get to see what kind of dicks Vulcan kids were and the harsh life Spock had. It's also neat seeing grown Spock interact with his younger self. This episode was ruthlessly ripped off by that asshead J.J. Abrhams. Fuck that guy.
Star Trek Original Series: The Galileo Seven
This is my all-time favorite Spock episode. And for a very specific reason--he wrestles with logic! The shuttle Galileo crashes on a planet with giant hostile cavemen. Spock is in command and must figure out a way to keep the crew alive and get off the planet. He bases every choice he makes on pure logic and does his best to ignore the emotional outbursts of the crew. He really gets his balls busted by one guy, but doesn't budge from his logical thought process. But as the crew members keep getting killed, even he starts to question his choices. At one point even lamenting out loud about how he's only made logical choices, but people keep dying. In the end, he stays true to himself, but makes a very desperate calculated risk. Some might see it as an emotional choice, that's up to the viewer I suppose. The episode also features some of Nimoy's best acting in the series.
Star Trek Original Series: The Tholian Web
Another great episode where Spock in in command. Very much like Galileo Seven, but on a much larger scale because he's in charge of the Enterprise! Kirk's dead! Well, sort of. He's kind of been turned into a space ghost, but everybody aboard thinks he's dead. Complicating matters, the Enterprise is being trapped by wacky aliens who are building a giant space web to hold them. Spock, being the second in command, takes over the Captain position and crazy old Dr. McCoy immediately starts busting his onions. Like, a lot. Freaking out in every other scene, even going so far as to accuse him of "being happy Kirk's dead so he can be in command." This is a great episode because it shows Spock attempting to deal with annoying emotional humans the best way he can. And although he maintains his cold exterior, much to their chagrin, he eventually comes to realize a little understanding can go a long way. And the speech Kirk makes, a video to be played in case of his death, asks Spock to remember to temper his logic with intuition. And to make use of McCoy, who is a valuable resource for him to draw upon. The episode stands out because has some of best segments between Spock and McCoy, when the finally learn to put aside their differences and come together as one. Great character development.
Star Trek Original Series: All Our Yesterdays
I like this episode for a very specific reason—Spock gets laid! Hellz, yeah! A sun is going supernova and a planet will be destroyed. To save everyone, a guy known as the librarian, has found a way to send people back through time. They'll be on the same planet, but in a previous time period. It's up to them to pick what period they want to live in. Kind of a neat idea. Not practical, though. If you have the technology to send people through time, why not build ships and evacuate the planet? Anyway, Spock gets sent back 5,000 years! And he meets a hot chick who was also sent back, but for some sort of punishment. Spock finds himself drawn to this girl, and annoyed by McCoy's flirting. As the episode goes on, Spock goes for her! And it is implicitly implied that he, not Bones, bones her (see what I did there?). But McCoy figures out that because Spock has gone 5,000 years in past, he's essentially a Romulan. Vulcans and Romulans come from the same species. Vulcans, under the guidance of the great philosopher Surak, rejected emotion and embraced logic. Romulans kept their emotional ways. It's a fun episode because you get to see a very different Spock. Also, he almost kicks McCoy's ass! Maybe all that ball busting in the Tholian Web wasn't such a good idea, huh?
I was wondering about this episode though. Wouldn't McCoy also be different 5,000 years ago? The original series takes place around the year 2,260. That's only 240 years or so from where we are. Wouldn't McCoy be hairier? Shorter? I dunno. Still, a fun episode!
These are may favorite Spock episodes! Note: I purposely didn't mention Amok Time and This Side of Paradise. I know they're fan favorites, but they are not mine. Also, every dipshit who made a list of "Best Spock Episodes" has written about these. Don't think I need to add more.
My Real Life Episode with Leonard Nimoy
This is probably the lamest "I met Leonard Nimoy" story ever, but...I met Leonard Nimoy! Sort of! Actually, I was at an event at E3 and he was just leaving a smallish room I had gotten into. It was kind quiet because he was leaving and I shouted out, "I love you Leonard Nimoy! Your life's work is truly something worth being proud of!"
He turned around and did this.
He did not actually do that. But I am 100% sure he heard me, because I said it loud. I didn't mean to say anything, actually, it just sort of came out. But I'm glad I did, because he meant a lot to me. And I truly believe Spock is the greatest TV character of all time. I've never seen a celebrity get such an outpouring from fans of all different ages and walks of life.
I think it's because many of us wish we were Spock. He's super smart! He's not only incredibly handsome, he's got striking features. He's as cool as ice and not subject to annoying human emotions (well, he actually is, but he'll never admit it!) And he's always got a great one-liner ready to send right back to that bothersome McCoy!
R.I.P. Leonard Simon Nimoy 1931–2015
Oh, I found these insane Spock Halloween costumes on the Internet. Might as well put them here!
I wish this came in adult sizes. I would wear this to work.
Might be able to fit into this one...
Super Hero? Yes, he was.
They got the eye makeup right!
Leonard Nimoy was my hero. My favorite Star Trek character, heck, probably my favorite character in any show ever. Much of Spock came from Leonard Nimoy, and he fought vigorously to protect the integrity and intelligence of that character. I'm going to write a full blog about it when I get a hot minute, but I just wanted to get something up.
On the day he died, this is what I wore to work in his honor.
I love you, Leonard Nimoy!!!!
One of my goals this year is to draw more pictures of fucked up people. I finally got off my ass and drew the local "Neighborhood Creep." A crazy fat guy with a Transformers Deceptacon tattoo on his forehead! He always tries to talk to people on the train, but he's just so fucked up and crazy most people ignore him. I do. I can deal with various levels of crazy, but he's a gabber too! And I know if I talk to him once, every time he see me, he's gonna wanna chat it up. Anyway, here's what he looks like.
Every year a few of my friends get together and watch Blaxploitation films on Martin Luther King Day. I think Dr. King would have approved of Blaxploitation movies (not all of them, obviously), because it gave a lot of black actors, directors and writers a chance to show their talent in a white-dominated industry. And so, to celebrate his legacy, we spend a whole day watching movies of this often misunderstood genre.
The first one we watched I think he would have enjoyed. It was a rare supernatural Blaxploitation gem called J.D.'s Revenge. It's a slow cooker, but once it gets going it really catches on fire. It's a story of a sheepish black guy who gets hypnotized on stage and ends up possessed by a maniac pimp. The star, Glynn Turman, makes an incredible transition from nice guy to insane asshole pimp. Very convincing!
Goodbye Uncle Tom
This is a movie I'm pretty sure Dr. King would have hated. In fact, I think most people would hate it, if they even managed to finish it. I love it, but I am fully aware the people who made it are really fucked up. It's a insanely exploitive shock film that shows you in disturbing detail all the horrors of slavery. But the creators didn't do it to cast light on these horrors, they did it (I think) just to see how much they could shock people by showing them a lot of very realistic, horrifying things. And man, oh man, did they succeed. It's like Cannibal Holocaust level fucked up, but on a much, much grander scale. The setup is nuts, too. Two reporters fly a helicopter back in time to do a documentary on slavery. I think it was filmed in Haiti or something, there's no way you could get American actors to do this stuff.
The ending is especially wild and involves a "Nat Turner" inspired rampage with white people getting slaughtered in slow-motion.
This movie was a little bit of a let down after hearing about it so long. It has an astonishing cast of just about everybody who was anybody in the black acting community in the 70's. Pam Grier, Yaphet Kotto, Carl Weathers, Scatman Krothers, Eartha Kitt and Issac from the Love Boat! But the story is kind of meandering and it's rather slow. Has a big finish, though! And you get to see Pam Grier's side boob!!!! And that makes it all worth it!
Black Devil Doll
Apparently, some guy made a bunch of horror movies filmed with a super shitty camera in the 80's and it has been discovered by videophiles and is now celebrated. It's some pretty gritty shit. And ventriloquist dolls are really scary. Especially combined with low lighting and bad acting.
The Black Connection... Run Nigger Run
Boy, there are a lot of "Connection" movies! French Connection, Chinese Connection, Mafia Connection and Black Connection. I don't think many of these movies really had much to do with a "Connection," but Black Connection actually does... a phone connection, that is! This is a low budget mess with an incoherent plot and a million scenes of people talking on phones. No joke, I'd say every other scene in the movie was a phone conversation. It became quite funny as the movie went on, because it just kept happening. Anyway, a pretty crummy and confusing movie with a few stand out scenes. Not the ones on the phone.
Had a great design for the movie title, though!
Three the Hard Way
This was easily the best movie of the day! It stars three of the coolest Blaxploitation actors ever--Fred "The Hammer" Williamson, Jim Kelly a.k.a. Black Belt Jones and Jim Brown. All in the same movie! I can't really describe the plot, because I was really drunk at this point, but I just remember it was FUCKING AWESOME. Tons of action, great acting, good stunts and kung fu fighting. Huge shoot out at the end, too!
Each one has a ridiculously hot girlfriend that rode matching motorcycles!
The whole movie is on youtube. I recommend it!
Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool! (Starring Mr. T)
This is not Blaxploitation, but more like "80's Feelgoodsploitation." An hour long special aimed at getting teens to feel good about themselves by exercising, breakdancing, saying no to drugs, and respecting their mothers. I am 100% Dr. King would have liked this special, it's kind of impossible not to.
The whole special is also on Youtube. I highly recommend it, because as Mr. T says, "If you're not somebody, you are going to be somebody's foo."
And you don't want to be somebody's foo.
Happy Black History Month!