More pics from the rest of the corn!
Businesses all around the Gaslamp area in San Diego try and get into the spirit of the con, no doubt to try and attract the nerds. Usually, it's just a server in some kind of ill-fitting Pokemon shirt or something. But this guy made his own costume. And a clever pun at that!
This is the fancy "half-man, half woman" from the last blog. They were staying at the hotel I was staying at. Both costumes are amazing!
In the last few years, the crazy Christians have been picketing the con in a totally useless attempt to scare nerds into becoming Christians. This year, some of the nerds made their own wacky signs as a response. And then a doller, a cosplayer who has a mask that looks like an anime character, showed up.
I'll admit, I'm a bit of a bitter pill about many things, but seeing how happy this kid got holding this giant fucking gun melted even my icy heart.
Meanwhile, the King of Cartoons got some random pink pocket fuzz from my pocket on his head. It's actually a pretty good look.
And then I walked outside and saw this. Some guy driving his dog around in a remote control car blasing Michael Jackson. Everyone needs a hobby.
Some lady dressed up as Lieutenant Ilia from Star Trek: The Motion Picture! She even told me her oath of celibacy is on record!
And then I made a friend! This super drunk guy a the bar who also carries a little action figure in his pocket. We became buddies and spent the next hour talking about why Star Trek is the greatest television show in history, which movies were the best, and how J.J. Abrahams is a fucking piece of shit and should be beaten up for his last shitty Star Trek movie. It was really fun!
I went back in the con and ran into this guy! He's wearing my favorite uniform from the entire franchise. I actually think he looks pretty convincing. Probably because he's a little older, so seems like he could be a real captain.
Howard the Duck! And it's a kid. I had no idea kids even knew who Howard the Duck was. He's with the Black Mask, which is a weird DC Red Skull rip off.
Ack! Sorry it's so blurry! It's super hard to take a good photo when you're furiously rubbing your crotch.
Do androids have dongs?
These guys were all over the Internets after the con. It's easy to see why! This is about as good as cosplay gets.
Meanwhile, They Live Wonder Woman is making money!
This was actually a really cool display. It was Darth and his guards in front of hundreds of Stormtroopers all lined up. I rarely take pics of Star Wars shit anymore, but this was cool.
Nice Zartana! Quite the tanline, too!
You can not be considered a good Venom unless you got a big nasty tongue.
My ninja! They were a little sad because kids didn't know who they were. I guess the handling of the Gi-Joe franchise is so bad kids don't recognize Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow anymore.
This guy promised me if I put his picture on my site I'd get at least 15,000 more hits, so I'm holding him to it.
The dead dwarf being dragged by the intestine is a nice touch.
This guy had no idea why I wanted to take his picture. It's pretty obvious--he looks rad!
At this point, I was totally fucking wasted. I went to a big dinner and spent like an hour trying to get a good pic of the King of Cartoons eating pinapple. Not sure if it was worth it.
I only spent half an hour trying to get this one.
I also took 1,000 pictures of the inside of my pocket. If you've ever wondered what the inside of my pocke looks like, it looks like this.
This is my favorite picture of Comic-Con this year. It pretty much sums up the entire experience.
Final day and unlike last year, I didn't have a totally debilitating hangover! In fact, I think that's why I don't have as many crazy pics this year, I was scared! Last year, I spent the whole last day laying out on a chair by the pool sick as an AIDS hobo. IT WAS A SAD FUCKING SIGHT. This year, I did much better.
I'll admit, I gotta soft spot for female Freddys, and this one was hot. The pic does not do her justice, her knockers were huge!
And look who I randomly found the last day! It was the same guy and girl from the two previous days! What in the heck are the chances of that. They were really sweet.
Last few hours of the last day on the floor. Kinda feel like this dirty mogwai...
This sounds a little dirty for a kids toy.
Before the internets, you had to buy records of your favorite TV show bloopers!
A skyscraper with giant googly eyes is definitely a good disguise. Of course, normally when you wear a disguise you don't fly around telling everyone about it.
Not exactly a giant, but I give his points for trying!
In the last blarg, I told you about my friend Robert who is half Klingon. This is his dad!
This picture was taken in the back of the mezzanine floor. It's where the put the stuff that's even to weird and nerdy for Comic-Con--like the Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society. Which must be a hold out from pre-internet days when nerds communicated by newsletters and zines. Love the logo, though!
Another weirdy booth was the SCOOPS -- Southern California Open Observation Paranormal Society. They investigate ghosts and other strange happenings in people's houses. I asked the lady manning the booth, and she was very serious about the whole thing.
One thing I've managed to catch for a few years in a row are these armored nerds beating each other up with sticks. It's actually pretty cool to watch, because they are seriously hitting each other. The sound alone is pretty impressive. I guess it's the closest we'll ever get to really seeing what ye olde combat was like.
And that's my damn Comic-Corns! Kinda tame this year, but I didn't get sick! Next I'll blarg some of the comics I got!
Yerp! Finally gettting around to blarging about my Comic-Corn experience this year. It was...well...like every fucking year! Comic-Corn is exactly the same every year. Get drunk, buy old shitty comics, get drunker...take pictures of cosplayers...get drunk...
Here's what happened!
This is a gay alcoholic Mister Mxyzptlk. He was oogling some super buff guy working a booth and asking if he could take pictures of his muscles. The guy was not in costume. He was just starring at his muscles talking asking him "How much he works out?" I gotta say if Mister Mxyzplik was real, he'd probably be a lot like this guy.
This is what nerds beat off too. She has really pointy shoes! Not that she can see them.
The original Gonzo puppet used in Muppets Take Manhattan! Look at that nasty nose!
Hey, it's me! And Godziller! Every year, I pick two colors and build a super hero costume around it. This year it was pink and green. A great color combo, btw.
I don't know what the fuck is going on here, but it looks nuts. Kinda sexy gross.
The next day, I did some promotion for my smash hit Internets show, Dicko's Evil Movie Reviews! On the show, I play Larry Dicko, an evil movie reviewer! Anyway, it was really fun passing out flyers. While passing them out, I'd say "Evil? Evil? Do you like Evil? Like Evil, or Evil things? Evil?" to get people's attention. And you'd be amazed how many old ladies went "Evil? I love evil!" And took a flyer. No joke.
I randomly ended up right next to one of those super jesus guys with the yellow signs about going to hell. Weirdly, enough we became friends. He was totally chill. We even took a selfie together!
And what's even stranger, both our cards we were using to promote our interests looked totally similar. Like we designed them to go together or something. How crazy is that?
After that, it was booze time where I bumped into this excellent cosplayer. The costume was the circus half-man, half-lady, but with a refined style. Strangely enough, I would see this same guy over and over at the con! It was like fate.
A really good Xena! I'm not even a fan of this show, but I gotta give the lady credit--this is great cosplay.
And then a random group of Michael Meyers stolled by! They were all in character, too. I tried to talk to one, and he looked at me like he was going to murder me.
Then Reggie Bannister from Phantasm strolled by! He's such a nice guy! He even stopped for a selife with me!
Second day of the con, Spider-Man's already passed out under the bar.
While I don't think this is the greatest cosplay, this guy was great. He gave me quite an earful about how Calendar Man is not only the best Batman villain, but one of the best villains of all time.
A herd of fattymobiles.
These guys are sweet! I love impossible team-ups, and Conan and old Flash are as impossible as it gets.
These guys also looked great!
They were right next to these cylons! I'm sure my 8 year old self would shit his pants seeing the potential battle here.
Met an epic Storm! It was a guy, too! Now that's some mutant cosplay abilities! (he was with his mom!)
I have no idear who this guy is. I asked him, I don't think he really had a plan either. Just a mask!
I also bought a great con-buddy this year! Ladies and Gentlemen, his highness...the King of Beer! (and Cartoons!)
A really good Sailor! I think Polly's the wrong color, but other than that, top notch.
This is a really good picture I took walking across a bridge. Pretty sure the bridge was built with picture taking opportunities in mind, but the sun and trains were just right.
Then my good friend Robert, who is half Klingon, took me to the Klingon lifestyle panel!
It was totally fucking ridiculous. But a lot of fun. And charming, because it's one of the last holdouts for actual non-hollywood/hipster nerd love. They were honest to gosh nerds just nerding the fuck out. It was very refreshing.
The did a skit, with some incredible acting, and then a costume contest!
Imagine these two guys showing at your door to take your daughter on a date!
Or these two guys!
If I remember correctly, I drank a long island ice tea and hit the dance floor.......solo!
Then posed with a pinball machine...
Then posed with this guy! I think he was an actor or some kind of guy promoting something. Not sure.
And then I went home and ate a Subway sandwich alone in my hotel room bathroom.
And that's half of Comic-Con! The rest will come soon!
Hey, I went to Anime Sexpo! Can't really say I rocked the show, but I had a decent time and snapped some pics. Here's what happened.
Looking for a gift for the guy who's got everything? How about a Rare Fetish Pregnant doll? Only $135! I like how it's "Rare". No shit, it's rare! Like anyone's clamoring for these things!
This was my favorite cosplayer there!
I don't know that the heck this guy is. He looks super familiar from my childhood, but I can't place him.
This was a "Steam Punk" Chewbacca. I hate Steam Punk in general, and am completely over Star Wars so this guy was doubly distasteful to me. Plus, he looks nothing like Chewbacca!
I managed to find a pretty neat Chuck Norris figure from Chuck Norris's Chuck Norris and His Karate Kommandos starring Chuck Norris!
With Chuck Norris!
And Chuck Norris!
Also starring Chuck Norris!
The con takes place over the 4th of July weekend, so I went in my usual cosplay as "Just Your Average American." (that's me on left)
Met this magnificent specimen on the floor. If you got it, flaunt it!
There were a couple of cool super heroes around.
Including Super Chucky! I fucking love ghetto Chucky shirts, but a fat dude wearing one making Chucky's face look at 3D is too good to be true!
A lot of people might think this guy is fucked up for wearing a Japanese WW2 Naval Officer's uniform as cosplay on the Fourth of July. Or that it is unAmerican. But it's not. This IS American. America's about freedom, even the freedom to dress like this. Although, I wouldn't suggest walking around Texas in this outfit on the Fourth of July.
I also bought a cheap "Battle-damaged Riker" action figure! Battle-damaged? Or just a hot date? Heh-heh. He's was really pose-able!
Way more pose-able than the actual Riker, played by the incredibly stiff Jonathan Frakes! (To be fair, he does actually have a neck problem, which is why he is so incredibly stiff. I think he got it from craning his neck to see down Deanna Troi's cleavage. That made him incredibly stiff it two ways, actually).
I'd say I got my 7 dollars worth. Now go wash your eyes.
At the very end of the con, I decided to disguise myself as an "otaku." How'd I do?
The disguise fooled the showgoers, but not a single one of my friends. Which disappointed me. Made for some good pics though.
BTW -- If I drink too much, stay up super late and listen to loud rap music, this happens to me.
And then I turn into the guy from MythBusters.
The next hungover day, I stumbled into a "Scentaporium" which is a shop that sells special candles, body washes and perfumes to give you magic powers. This one, "Pusanga" gets you LAID!!!
This one gets you MOOONNNAAAAYYYY!!!!
Although these look like buttplugs, they're not. They're special candles that do all manner of things, like "Stop bothersome people." I'm assuming it really means, "Stop bothersome people from trying to put things in your butt."
And these are not dildos. Well, you could probably use them as such, but it might interfere with the spell.
I don't know what the fuck this protects you from. Kidnapping? Rape? I probably should have bought some.
Body wash to protect you from rich security guards.
The last stop was the world-famous Venice Beach. I'm a big fan of Venice Beach. It's my kind of shady, cheesy, and often creepy tourist trap.
This was a drawing I did for a friend who claimed a show about his life would be "balls out" weird.
And this is from my hood when I finally got home. It's in the storefront of a funky Chinese dress shop. Gawd Bless America!
Hey, I went to Gay? Pride 2014. And annual Man Francisco celebration of gay stuff. Well, not so much anymore, because it was infested by armies of obnoxious empty-headed glitter-covered rainbow-bright party girls. Straight college girls. And bros! I actually saw a ton of bros, bro-ing it up. I'm pretty sure 80% of these kids could give a fuck about gay rights or the gay movement, they just hear party, and come running. I guess this is the sad price that must be paid for mainstream acceptance.
Still, it's not like they don't have a zillion of their own events to go to. You think maybe one or two would be like, "Oh, hay, this is a gay thing for gays to celebrate, maybe we should sit this one out and let them have their day." But no, they don't, they put on their terrible party gear, swagger up, and come in droves. And I see less of the old queens, fabulous costumes and crazy-looking naked guys.
Like this guy. This guy is why I go to Gay Pride!
And this lady!
I'm here for this!
I sure as fuck didn't come for this.
Of course, I don't know these girls. Mabye they're all lesbos, and that would be fine. But the 1 zillion other college idiots I saw were not. They were just there to party. Don't matter what the event, could be Hitler's Birthday, and if the party was big enough, they'd be there with funny mustaches on. If they must come, they could at least wear something slightly interesting. Like this.
And I'm not against straights! I don't care if you're straight, I just think you should let people who want to celebrate their thing do it. For instance, being a dorky white guy, I wouldn't go to giant black biker meet up. Well, I did once by accident, and they pretty much told me where to go, and I did. It wasn't my thing. Just like Gay Pride isn't straight college party girl and dumb party bros thing. They have Bay to Breakers, a million music fests, How Weird Fair, and other stuff to go to. Is it too much to ask that they give the gays their day and stay away?
Mabye I'm getting old...getting grumpy. Do I look grumpy? Or maybe I'm right...
Anyway, each year I go less and I would imagine next year, I'll trim even more off. It's too bad, though. It used to be a fun party, now it's just a "party." Speaking of partying, these guys next to me at the Pink Party were an partying. I saw some stuff that'll stay with me for a long, long, long time.
Anyway, I'm sure next year will be worse.
Here's what happened!
Acutally, this is the day before I went. I had my Japanese final and me and my friend went to Japantown and acted like super white guys.
This is what I wore to class. The teacher loved it! The headband says "Victory." Well, I hope. For all I know it could say "Chicken Fucker." But my teacher didn't say anything, so I'm assuming it does not say "Chicken Fucker."
This was a sexy lingere in Japantown. I think it's for a new anime called "Sailor Poon."
And this is from one of my favorite scenes from the 80's video game sex teen comedy, Joysticks. According to the DVD commentary, the director had to do the scene over 50 times to get the hotdog to land just right.
This was parked out front of E3. I've seen a lot of crummy PR jobbers before, and this isn't half bad. Nice looking bus, and great gross vagina-mouthed mutant on front.
There were a lot of cool dudes inside the con.
Including this portly pal who was chasing people around on the floor trying to scare them. He even made a video about it.
Later that night, I saw a huge cockroach. He was also chasing people around the floor trying to scare them.
I met DJ Cutman! He's a famous chiptune composer. Chiptunes are a bunch of beeps and boops that DJs like him turn into music. He was a very nice young man. It's cool how the arm on the right side looks like a gross mutant arm. It's actually my fingers, just super close.
Later that day, I met a neat man in Little Tokyo.
Then we got drunk and discussed Verne Troyer's sex tape in detail.
We also did some shopping in Little Tokyo. I finally found some eye balancers. Jesus, it's been so hard living with unbalanced eyes. These are going to really change my outlook.
I made another friend on the showfloor. (I think I'm handsomer)
Then I met Batman. THE Batman. Not the stupid lego one.
The Video Game History Museum this year and saw THE fucking nerd shirt that'll get you laid. In 1983 and 2014. Don't matter.
Also saw some cool Sonic art. I love the legs! He kinda looks like a weird worm. A cool weird worm, I mean.
Also saw the instruction manual for the Power Glove. The very complicated instruction manual for the Power Glove. Has a cool dude in shades explaining stuff, though. That'll make the info go down a little easier.
A cool guy who stands behind the TV and jacks off while telling you to about "sensing the zone."
Haha, remember when QBall dressed as Boy George? That was great!
EA's booth looked pretty nice.
Hey, I met a fellow Banana Man on the floor! There's not a lot of us, but we're growing every day.
This pretty much sums up Capcom's showings this year.
All in all, it was a bit of dud E3. Tons of indies, not a lot of AAA games of interest. I think we're still in the awful early stage of the new gen's lifecycle, so there ain't shit going on.
There's always next year!!!