One of my many pointless hobbies is to draw comics on the Netflix envelopes of the movies I rent. I don't know why I do it, but I do! And so here are the latest ones.
Boy if you ever get a chance to see this movie, I recommend it. It's a ridiculous super gross perverted torture film from the 70s. Lots of great performances, tons of nudity, and a lot of body parts being cut off. However, there isn't actually any bloodsucking in it. But a deranged dentist does stick a straw in a woman's brain and sucks on that. Oh, and they use a woman's butt as a dartboard!
Yes, even I succumb to the wonders of Frozen! Actually, I just wanted to know what all the fucking hubbub was about and now I know. A couple of decent songs, and a movie that variates ever-so-slightly from the usual Disney forumla. Which is enough to send the world in an tizzy, I guess.
Halloween has aged wonderfully! And I completely understand why it's remained a staple of horror films. It's a slasher film with style. And it has enough tension and freaky moments to still pack a wallop. Oh, and half the movie Donald Pleasance hides in the bushes.
Also still great! And it picks up directly after the first one ends. But Donald Pleasance does not hide in the bushes in this one. He does, however, cause a innocent teen to be smashed by an van and burn to a crisp. Nobody's perfect!
Heaven is For Real
I have not watched this movie. It was an ad on the envelope. My guess is a kid died, had one hell of a hallucination, and idiots think it was real.
Another misleading title! There is not blood drinking in this movie! However, a little kid injects rabies into meat pies, then gives them to a satanic cult of hippies. And you can guess what happens after that—entertainment! Apparently, this used to show in drive-ins as a double bill with "I Eat You Skin."
The David Lynch Dune is my favorite movie of all time. I've seen it at least 50 times and love every minute of it. Of course, I'm well aware it's a complete disaster, but it's a mind-fucking-boggling disaster. That being said, I would have loved to see Jodorowsky's Dune as well! He gathered the ultimate team of insane artists that would have made the crazy movie to end all crazy movies. But unfortunately, as usual, Hollywood didn't have the balls or insight to fund the movie. Still a really neat doc.
Where's this movie been all my life? Anthony Hopkins as a ventriloquist with a serious attachment to his dummy. Like, deadly serious. Also stars Bergis Meredith has an old school New York talent agent. A wonderful piece of film.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out Monster Squad is just as good as I remember it from my childhood. In fact, better because my adult brain can appreciate much more of the film and filmaking techniques. Fun script, great set up and a solid delivery. And the "wolf man has nards" is still funny. Will probably still be funny 100 years from now.
I don't know how I missed this movie growing up. I was probably "too cool" in high school to actually watch it. My loss, because it's fucking awesome! Like "Awesome" in the totally awesome 80's sense of the word. In most movies, Hulk Hogan's massive presence and wrestler acting dominate every scene, but Christopher Lloyd's specific brand of crazy-acting not only matches the Hulks, but even outshines him at times. I liked this movie so much, I will probably buy it on DVD at some point.
Vanya on 42nd Street
I have about two smart friends. And sometimes they'll convince me to watch a smart movie. And Vanya on 42nd Street is a smart movie. It's a movie about a troop of actors preforming a Russian play in an old rundown theater. And it stars the "inconcievable" guy as well as Punky Brewster's dad. For a smart movie, it was pretty good. And I like Russian stories, they're always filled with drunk depressed characters who yell at each other a lot.